Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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