just come out here and I will go home with you...
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Enjoy the penises
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
