I just pynch a tree in the face
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
