Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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