Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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