I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
