North Korea, Best Korea!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
