I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
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I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
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Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here