Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating