matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain