I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested