What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
