i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
