so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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