it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
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