I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
