Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
