i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
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I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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