i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
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