i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
