i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
