I bet he comes in French.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
