that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
