My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
