they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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