Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
