Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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