so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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