you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Randomize