dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
