NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
