Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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