You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
