Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
