Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize