how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize