Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
