He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
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I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize