there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
