we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
