yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
