overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize