My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
