you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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