i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I want to fling myself into the sun
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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