i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
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