If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize