Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize