Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize