I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
