what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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