he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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