if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
