I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize