Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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