i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
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I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
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So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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