apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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