I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
