Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
