Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
