come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
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