just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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