Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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