why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
